Momodo Drabbles
by lallyzippo
Summary: Random Zatch Bell stories I think up. Rated for swears. Much OOCness...Chapter 13, my homies. [Chapters 1 through 4 contain retardness]
1. Merry Christmas!

**Hi! I was bored so I decided to write some random stories!**

**Disclaimer: I own Zatch Bell!...Okay, not really……….**

It was Christmas Eve, and since Zatch being a momodo, had never celebrated Christmas, Kyo and Kyo's mom decided to take him to Wal-Mart to see Santa Claus.

"Oh, boy Kyo! What's Santa Claus like?"

"He's a big fat bastard who claims to give presents to every kid on the planet," he grumbled.

"Wow! What a nice bastard!" said Zatch.

"Yup………oh, and when you see him, put up your middle finger like this." Kyo demonstrated how to flick people off.

"Oh, okay!"

They walked over to where "Santa" was supposed to be, except there was a line 5 miles long.

"Wow Kyo! Are lines normally this long?"

"Yup……." Replied Kyo remembering the past incidents……..

_Flashback………………_

_Young Kyo ran up to the line that was 5 miles long to go see Santa like he did every year. He stood in line and waited………and waited…………and waited…………and waited._

_2 years later…………_

"_Is it my turn?"_

"_Nope," the psychiatrist replied._

_End of flashback…………………_

Kyo's eyes turned blood red as he looked at the man in the Santa suit. Hatred filled his very being.

"Oh, and Zatch……" Kyo said.

"Yes what is it Kyo?"

"Why don't you give him this gift I made for him?"

Kyo handed Zatch a pretty watch with a red wire and a blue wire sticking out of the side.

Zatch stared at it. "What is this Kyo?" he asked uneasily.

"Candy."

"Oh boy!" Zatch ran off to get in line and Kyo walked behind him with an evil smile.

5 hours later……………

Kyo looked at his watch. "Hmm, weird," he thought aloud. "Last time it took me 2 years!"

"No, honey," his mom replied. "You were in the line for 5 hours last time too."

"Oh…….then how'd the end of the flashback work out?"

"Right before you got to Santa you had a hernia."

"Ooooooh, okay. That fast?"

"Oh, yeah!" his mom replied.

Zatch walked up to Santa and hopped up on his lap. "Hi! Wow! You're not fat!"

"Why thank you, little boy, hohoho!"

"You're ENORMOUS!"

"SERIOUSLY! That bitch at the health food store lied to me then!" Santa screamed raising his fist.

All the mothers covered their children's ears.

"Um, Santa?" Zatch asked, "Why aren't you being a nice bastard?"

"I'm pissed off kid!" Santa crossed his arms.

"Oh………..well will you at least ask me what I want!"

"No! Because I fucking don't care!"

"Then I'll tell you! I want some porn magazines of Paris Hilton!"

"WHAT?" Santa screamed.

"Zatch!" Kyo's mom yelled, "Did you go through my cabinets!"

"Oh, so they were YOUR cabinets….." Zatch said. "I thought they were Kyo's!"

Kyo sweatdropped. "I don't look at porn magazines! I didn't even know my mom did!"

Santa slapped Zatch. "You JERK!"

Kyo got pissed at this point. "That's it! I'm sick of you fake Santa!"

Kyo threw the watch at Santa, and Santa blew up. (A/N: Hehehe….)

"Well, there goes all my childhood hatred down the drain!" said Kyo happily.

"Kyo!" Kyo's mom motioned. "Look at this!"

Kyo's mom tore off the fake beard to reveal the severed head of…………_Paris Hilton!_

"Woah….I could've hit on Paris!...Oh, well! Susie is my only true love!"

Just then, the guy with red hair on the skateboard (A/N: I don't know his name, sorry) zoomed by with Susie on his skateboard. "See ya Kyo!"

"Bye Kyo!" Susie waved.

"WHA? GET BACK HERE WITH MY WOMAN!"

With that, Kyo vanished as chased the skateboard guy and Susie out of sight. Kyo's mom and Zatch just stood there for a minute until Kyo's mom said: "Hey, Zatch. Wanna go look at some more Paris Hilton porn?"

"Yeah!"

So Kyo's mom and Zatch skipped away.

**Heh……….so did ya like it? More chapters coming up! Review!**

**Next time:**

_Sherry has problems with Yentas_


	2. Sherry has problems with Yentas

**Hi! I'm ba-ack! Did ya miss me? Well, here's another random, crazy Zatch Bell story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Zatch Bell! I don't care what they tell you!**

Sherry was bored. She was missing something……..she knew it. Then it came to her! "I need a date!" she said aloud.

"A wha? Why?" asked Brogo.

Sherry sat down again. "Yeah, I guess you're right……….I'm just a millionaire's kid, with nothing to do, except talk to a Goth momodo who might be part of my imagination, or get in to fetal position because I lost my best friend in the whole wide world to a momodo, which also might be a figment of my imagination. Speaking of which-"

Sherry got into fetal position and began to suck her thumb.

"……………….," Brogo stared at her for a minute. Then he said, "Okay………..I'm off to moon the Muslims!" (A/N: no offense to all you Muslims)

A couple hours after Brogo left to moon the Muslims, Sherry got up out of fetal position. "What was I talking about before I went into fetal position because I was sad about losing my best friend to a momodo who might be a figment of my imagination, and then happening upon Confucius, the purple rooster, whom I know is real?"

"Kawk! You were going to get a date! Kawk!" kawked Confucius.

"Oh!" Sherry ran out the door.

At McDonalds (A/N: the place for NORMAL people) Sherry wasn't having much luck finding a date.

"Will you go out with me?" she asked a punk.

"Uhhhh………no."

"Will you go out with me, now?"

"No……."

"Please?"

"Uhhhh…….okay?"

"Really!"

"No."

Sherry got angry. "I'm getting angry! YOU WON'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY!"

"Why not?" the punk guy asked.

"Because Confucius, the purple rooster will slay you!"

"……………….."

"This isn't bettering my chances, is it?"

"Nope."

"Damn!"

So Sherry went home. Brogo was back, too.

"Brogo, why is there a jihad outside my mansion?"

"Um, you owe them money………….? Uh, yeah!"

"OH! OKAY!" Sherry went outside and threw a dumpster of hundred dollar bills on the Muslims.

"Wha? Why is the crazy rich girl assaulting us with money?" asked one Muslim.

"Hey!" said another, "This will pay for nuclear weapons from Russia (A/N: no offense to Russians either)!"

"And a platinum Sony TV!" said the same one said.

All the other Muslims stared at him for a minute. Then they yelled: "YEAH!" So the Muslims left with the money.

"Ah! Okay………what was I doing?" asked Sherry.

"I don't know!" replied Brogo.

"Oh well!"

_A week later…………………_

"Oh! I remember now!"

Later that day Sherry saw a Yenta. But, the Yenta had to go run some other errands because she said there was some kid that wanted to find a date so he could make his future woman jealous so she would dump the skateboard jerk that stole her. So, she left Sherry with a DVD, so Sherry could see the interviews.

"Well, lets see……." Sherry turned on the DVD and the first interview started.

"Um hi…….I'm J-jake……..and I like Dungeons and Dragons-"

"LOSER!" Sherry skipped to the next interview. "Ooooooo! He's cute!"

"Hey babes! I'm a biker with my very own rock band!"

"HE'S MINE!" Sherry drooled.

"Hey! What are you doing here!" said a voice in the background.

"Ah! Uh, Honey! I- uh-I-um…..can explain!"

"Nevermind……" thought Sherry. Skipped to the next interview.

"Hello preciousssssssss………. My name's Smeagal………I like fishhhhhhhhhh……."

"HE'S MINE!"

"Kawk! No he's not!"

"Oh, okay Confucius." Sherry skipped again. Much to her surprise…….

"Hello to all the ladies out there! My name's Brogo, but you can call me Dr. Looooooove."

Sherry stared at Brogo.

Brogo studdered. "I-I-I-I can explain!"

**So was it good? I thought so! Seriously, I didn't mean to offend any Muslims or Russians! Also, I would NEVER, I repeat, NEVEEEEERRRR go on a date with Gollum. Well, now REVIEW!**

**Next time………….**

_Folgore and Sherry can't read!_


	3. Sherry and Folgore can't read!

**Heeeeeeeeeeyyyy………….s'up?**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Zatch Bell! Sorry! **

One day I decided that the Zatch Bell characters were hanging out at Sherry's place. So……..they were hanging out. All was quiet.

Zatch broke the silence. "Hey, Kyo; whatever happened to Skooter?"

"He went off to be in some porn magazines," Kyo yawned.

"Hey! You said he went on an Alaskan cruise ship for modeling!"

"He did, PORN modeling."

"Ohhhhh, okay! Is that why you left for Alaska then came home 6 weeks later with a giant ice cube of money?"

"Yup."

"Ohhhhhh, okay, got it."

"Your dentist a was a pretty weird a," said Folgore.

"Oh Skooter wasn't our dentist Folgore, he was our mailman!" corrected Zatch.

"I'm bored!" said Sherry.

"What? Didn't you get a date?" asked Conchome.

"No……..I passed out half-way through the interviews."

"Why?" asked Kyo.

"I don't wanna talk about it…….."

"But I wanna know!" screamed Kyo.

"SHE CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT!" Brogo screamed.

"Okay."

Then Susie came running in. "Hi guys! Guess what! We were invited to a party in Norway by Senator of Connecticut!"

"Why Norway?" asked Kyo.

"The author wanted to be funny."

"She's a failing a horribly." said Folgore.

I shocked Folgore with 5,000,000,000,000,000 volts of electricity.

"_HAHAHA! FEAR ME!"_

Susie shrugged. "That's too bad, since ya know you need him for the random story crap."

"_Oh, crap!"_

I brought Folgore back to life.

"_You got lucky this time!"_

"Ouch a……"

They all just stood there for a moment in fear of me.

"…………..Okay!" started Susie, "We need to write return letters!"

"Okay!" Everyone got to work.

Zatch finished first, Kyo second, Conchome third, next Brogo, and then Susie. Folgore and Sherry were still working on their letters 20 minutes later.

"Are you done yet!" yelled Kyo.

"NO! So shut the hell up and wait!" screamed Sherry.

"Folgore, c'mon! Hurry it up!" yelled Conchome.

"You cannot a rush these a things a!"

Susie sweatdropped. "Oh, c'mon guys! It's only been 2 minutes!"

Kyo stared at her. "It's been 20 minutes………"

"Really!" Susie looked at her wrist. "I NEED to draw a new battery for this thing!" she said as she used her red pen to etch a new battery on her wrist where the fading watch was. (A/N: got that off of Sponge-Bob)

Brogo got behind Sherry and snatched her letter.

"Hey! That's mine! Gimme or Confucius shall slay you!"

Folgore just stared at her like she was psychotic, and so Zatch snatched his letter.

"Ahem!" Zatch cleared his throat, "Let's see what it says!"

Zatch read Folgore's letter:

**Dere Mr cenAtr of cUneticut,**

**eY wud b onurd 2 utend yo parte in Norwa. Jits mak ser tair r hot ciks tair! 4 eY am da grate Fullgory! Kans eY dans at yo parte? eY hopa sew! eY am ea grate dansr! C u at da parte!**

**Senserle yoz,**

**Poko Fullgory**

Kyo and Brogo fell over laughing with tears in there eyes, and Zatch just stood there standing with letter, still in disbelief that Folgore couldn't read. Susie was cleaning her ears out, and Conchome said, "Well, I am now officially embarrassed to be your momodo."

"Shut the hell up a, Conchome."

"Whatever."

"HAHAHAHAHAHA, hey is Kyo having a seizure?" Brogo looked at Kyo shaking uncontrollably.

"Who cares! Read the letter, Brogo!" said Zatch.

"Okay! Let's see……..

**Dare jakas,**

**Iff I hade tde xoise, I wood not goe to yer dum prtie. Butt, sinz tde ofor iz riteng tde stori, I hov no xoise. U betr not gurop mi butt agane! I hav a daet! (wel, not rele…….) butt I hav confusheos! Hez a purpl rustr! U suc.**

**Ciss mi ass,**

**Sherry**

Brogo shook his head. "Tsk, tsk, Sherry, I am discusted!"

"What? When I was little I got damn tired of my mom always nagging at me! So I paid this kid 5 bucks a year to do my English!"

"Only 5 bucks?"

"Yeah, he was pretty poor."

Kyo had stopped shaking by now. "Whew, how 'bout you Folgore?"

"Well, I a learned how espeaka the English a language pretty well, just nota write it………."

"Ohhhh……"

"Hey…..where's Zatch?" asked Susie.

They all looked around. Then the phone rang.

"I'll get it!" Susie ran to the phone. "Hello?"

"Seven days…………."

"Um, we never watched the movie……."

"Damn! Wrong number again! Sorry!"

"No problem!" Susie hung up. "Now, where's Zatch?"

A voice was heard from the back of the mansion. "AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Kyo sighed. "Oh, great. He slammed the toilet seat down on his thing again."

**Whew………..another chapter complete! And yes, I got that last part from Home Alone 3. Well, REVIEW!**

**Next time:**

_When Zebras run wild…………_


	4. When zebras run wild

**Weeee………..thanx for the reviews! I'm not happy right now because I got a horrible grade on my science final T.T a D-. So…I'm sad…but here's a story! Hopefully this will cheer me up!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Zatch Bell!**

"Why the hell do we have to go to some zoo?" complained Hyde.

"The author said we were cussing too much, and that we needed to connect with our inner child," shrugged Brogo.

"That's crap!"

"I know, but you don't want to make her mad…Folgore could tell you."

"Momma Mia," Folgore grumbled as he rubbed his singed head.

"Well, why aren't Kyo, Susie, Conchome, or Zatch here?" asked Sk8ter boi. (A/N: Sorry, I still don't know his name, so, I will refer to him as Sk8er boi)

Sherry thought for a minute. "Kyo and Susie are on a date, and so are Conchome and Zatch."

"Really!" Hyde's eyes flew open. "I knew Conchome was gay, but I was sure Zatch was strait!"

I then zapped Sherry and Hyde with 5,000,000,000,000 volts of electricity.

"_Hey! This is supposed to be family oriented! No cussing, talking about gays or lesbians, smoking pot, groping, mooning people, no beer, and uh…oh! Absolutely no killing whatsoever!"_

"AH, MAN!" everyone shouted.

"_Okay, fine. But only a couple insignificant peoples!"_

"YAY!"

At the zoo…………… 

"Welcome to the Mr. Goober Zoo!" one of the cashiers said with a cheesy smile.

"DIE!" Brogo completely obliterated the cashier man.

I shocked Brogo.

"Hey!" Why'd ya do that!"

"I said INSIGNIFICANT people!" 

"Was he significant?"

"_Uh……………no. Nevermind."_

At the zebra's cage………………… 

Sk8ter boi and Hyde stared at the zebras grazing.

"Like dude! That elephant is, like, totally, deformed."

"Uh, Sk8er boi, that's a giraffe," Hyde corrected.

"Oooooooh, then what are elephants supposed to look like?"

"Like……….that," Hyde stared at the zebras for a minute then said, "These must've been deformed at birth!"

"We should put them outta there misery dude!"

"Yeah!"

"_Uh, did you ever think that if they looked like elephants they might be elephants!"_

"Nonsense!" said Hyde.

Sk8er boi pulled out his spellbook. "Moocair!"

Hyde glowed and then used wind to blow up the hippo cage. People ran away screaming. Hyde and Sk8er boi felt so proud of themselves.

"Short stack, we did a, like, totally honorable thingie today!"

"Uh………yeah…." Hyde did a pose.

The zebras started walking out of their blown-up cage.

"Gasp! C'mon Hyde, they haven't gone down yet!"

"Oh no!"

So Sk8er boi and Hyde ran away after the zebras casting "Moocair" and blowing up pretty much everything in their way as they aimed for the zebras, which they thought were giraffes.

_At the petting zoo……………………_

"WHAT!" Sherry screamed. "You keep roosters locked up here!"

"Yes, mam!" said the "farmer" who was actually a zoo keeper.

"Kawk! They're evil!" kawked Confucius.

_At the restaurant……………………_

"'Dis is ze night, ze beaut-iful night!" Folgore sang with his accordion.

"What are you doing!" asked a customer.

"I am asinging da beautiful romance a song for your little girlfrienda!"

"This isn't Lady and the Tramp! And this is my grandma!" he pointed to a shriveled up, um, person I think………..

Folgore blinked. "………….Oh, well! 'Dis is ze night!"

"Ahhhh!"

_Back to Sherry…………………_

"Here ya go kid!" the "farmer" said, giving a rooster to a young boy.

"Weeeee!" the boy squealed.

Then, a shadow appeared over him. He turned around to see Sherry standing on the henhouse above him. "NEVEEEEEEEEEEERRRR!" she screamed.

"EEEEEEEE!" The little boy tried to run, but it was too late. Sherry landed on top of him. She held the rooster and then let it fly away. "Fly my child! FLY!"

"What the hell are you-"

I shocked the "farmer" with 5,000,000,000,000 volts of electricity. _"No cussing!"_

Sherry began to laugh maniacally. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ATTACK MY ROOSTER BRETHEREN! ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"

Out of no where, hundreds of roosters consumed the skies and began attacking everyone.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-eh?" Sherry noticed some zebras running through the commotion. "Why are there giraffes running around?"

"MOOCAIR!"

Suddenly, everyone was swept up into a giant whirlwind. As the people, roosters, zebras, and Sherry were swept away two figures stood on the ground.

"Say, Hyde," asked Sk8er boi, "Do you think the author will kill us for this?"

Hyde shrugged. "If she does, more than likely she'll kill Sherry."

"Good point."

_At the restaurant……………………_

Brogo walked into the restaurant lobby. "Hey! You sell sushi here?"

"Um, no sir………." said the waiter.

"SCREW YOU!" Brogo blew up the restaurant.

Folgore walked out towards Brogo, wiping off the ashes that covered his body. "E! Why don't you leave! I was getting to the best a part of my lovely song!"

"Yeah! Bring it on man!"

"EEEE! Don't hurt me! Folgore put up a little girl as a shield.

"MOMMY!" the kid screamed

_Needless to say, that they were kicked out of the zoo for going animal happy, murder, destruction of government property, and harassment._

**Yo. I thought it could've been better, but I'm tired and sad that I got a D-…….but it did cheer me up a little bit………Review please.**

**Next time……..**

_The reason why momodos can't be Jedis_


	5. The reason momodos can't be Jedis

**Okay! Time for another Zatch Bell story! Weeeeeee! Oh, and thanx to all those who told me Iedo's name! **

**PS: This takes place in Episode I!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own and never will own Zatch Bell, unless some supernatural twist of fate makes me the new president of the organization which started Zatch Bell.**

"Whoa, where are we?" asked Zatch as he looked around. There were speeders and pod-racers and other cool Star Wars stuff everywhere.

"_I have put you into the movie of Star Wars!"_

Hyde's eyebrow went up. "Um, why?"

"_People wanna know why there is no way in the history of the universe momodos can be Jedis. You guys will have to play as the main characters!"_

"But what about the REAL characters, actor guys?" asked Conchome.

"_Taken care of."_

Zatch looked uneasy. "Um………what?"

In my closet in the REAL world……………..

Obi-Won Kenobi, Yoda, Anakin, and Qui-Gon Jin were tied together by a rope with handkerchiefs over their mouths.

Back in my FANTASY world………………

"Hm, I like this author's style!" said Brogo.

"_Thank you." _I did a hair-flip._ "Now, I'm leaving you to try to become Jedis!"_ I disappeared, and the Momodos where teleported to their parts of the film.

In the movie………….

Queen Amidala's ship landed on Tatooine. So the Jedis, Master Hyde and young Zatch Bell made haste to the Queen's room.

"Hey!" Zatch yelled. "How come I have to be the apprentice?"

"Watch your tongue, young padawan!"

"I'll talk whenever I fucking wanna talk!"

"Why you son of a-" Hyde ripped out his lightsaber, and so did Zatch.

So they started fighting.

"Ha! Take that! So the apprentice becomes the master!"

"Oh, that hurts coming from someone who wears DIAPERS!"

"Gasp! You said you wouldn't tell anyone!"

So they continued this for a minute until Captain Panokka came in. "Hey! Stop figh-AHHH!"

"Oops….." Zatch stared at the corpse for a minute, and then looked back at Master Hyde. "What now?"

"Oh, great! What's that hot queen gonna think of us now?" Hyde thought for a minute. "Wait!" he snapped his fingers. "I got it!"

In the Queen's room………….

"Master Jedi, where's your apprentice?" Amidala looked worried.

"I'm right here!" Zatch came into the room.

"Oh, good. Where's Captain Panokka?"

"…….Be right back." Zatch ran out of the room, and then came back in covered in baggy clothes. "Yes, your majesty?"

"Panokka? You're shorter……."

"Um, no I'm not! Your………glasses need to be fixed."

"I'm wearing glasses? Wow, I never knew!"

So the Queen went off to play with her imaginary glasses. Zatch turned to Hyde. "Yo, Hyde."

"MASTER Hyde!"

"Whatever. We should explore, this place! It's like a giant cat box!"

"Uhhhhh, yeah………How 'bout I explore this place? After all, you gotta keep posing as Panokka!"

"Grrrrrr………Fine!"

So Master Hyde went out bravely into the deserts of Tatooine all alone.

"Wait up, Boyo!"

"Beep, boo, bop, beep!"

"Hey, Master Jedi!"

Okay, actually Jar-Jar and R2 tagged along. And Padame wanted to tag along. "Hey!" Zatch ran up with Padame. "The Queen wants you to take Padame along!"

"I would be honored to learn more about this place." Padame bowed.

"Sure thing, Babe!"

So they walked into the one city place of Tatooine. So skipping to the part about Watto's shop………

Hyde walked into Watto's place and asked Watto kindly if he would give him the parts they needed. "Hey Fly-Boy! Gimme all your parts!"

"Ah, this way……."

Watto showed Hyde to the junkyard. "How much are the parts?"

"200 gold!"

"What! That's too high!" Hyde whipped out lightsaber and chopped Watto in half. "Oh, and have a nice day!" Hyde walked back in.

Back in the shop……………

Padame spotted a slave boy working alone. She walked up to him and said: "Hi, I'm Padame."

Conchome looked up and blushed. "Guu, Ropulsnerf."

"So, um, are you a slave?"

"Wenhty, Gu, huh……."

"Oh……….so you………want to be a Jedi?"

"Ghyrten, guuu, huhhuhuhu………"

Hyde walked in. "We're leaving."

"Wait! Come stay at my place!" shouted Conchome.

Padame turned around. "Really!"

"Guuuuu, huuuuuummmmm…….."

Hyde twitched. "Uh, okay……."

At Conchome's house……………

"Hi mom! I'm home!"

A big, fat old guy in a dirty white shirt turned around. "Oh! Welcome home sweetie!"

Hyde, Padame, R2, and Jar-Jar stood there for a moment twitching. "Um, I think we'll fine outside……….."

"Beep, bop, boop."

"Shut the hell up R2!"

Hyde pulled out hid lightsaber (again) and ripped R2 into spare parts.

Conchome jumped up and down with delight. "Oh boy! Spare parts!" He grabbed them and ran into his room. He came out seconds later and said: "Hey! I finished C3PO!" Then an exact replica of R2 came out.

"……………" Everyone stared for a minute.

Jar-Jar became slightly interested. "What does-a C3PO stand for Boyo?"

"It stands for Computer-level 3 Personnel Operator!" Conchome declared proudly.

Hyde's eyebrow went up. "Why not call it OMGWTFITPOC?"

Padame gave him a look. "What would that stand for?" Conchome asked with a confused look.

"O My Gosh What The Fuck Is That Piece Of Crap."

"Great idea!" So Conchome named his R2 replica OMGWTFITPOC.

Skipping ahead to Corosont…………..

Zatch and Hyde walked towards the Jedi Council. "Why did you think Conchome is the one to bring balance to the force?" Zatch asked as Conchome walked off to play with some butterflies.

"Well…….."

_Flashback………………_

_Hyde walked around famished. "Oh…………so hungry."_

_Conchome walked up with a burger._

"_Burger!" Hyde grabbed it consumed the burger within seconds. "MMMMM………this is tasty! You're the one to bring balance to the force!"_

"_Really!"_

"_I dunno!"_

_End Flashback………………_

"Isn't that almost identical to the time you thought Jar-Jar was the one to bring balance to the force?"

"Don't mention that………"

"HELP MESA!" a voice screamed.

The "Jedis" turned around. "Oh, great……..Jar-Jar's lost his way in the phone booth again!"

Zatch laughed. "Remember when just decided to watch him for fun and he didn't find his way out until a week later?"

"Yeah! That was a classic!"

Skipping to the Jedi Council……….

Hyde tapped his foot, while Zatch looked around and Conchome attempted to draw ponies on his Etch-a-Sketch.

Mace Windu yelled, "Hey Master Brogo! Get your ass in here!"

"I'm combing my hair!"

"You've been combing it for the past twenty minutes!"

"My hair's special!"

"Yeah………retarded special."

Faster than anyone could notice, Brogo swept through the room and kicked Windu's ass. "I'll kick your ass again if you insult my hair again!" So Brogo sat down in his giant recliner.

Zatch eyes popped. "Whoa! I thought your chair was a little shoe with a cushion in it!" (A/N: Yoda's chair DOES look like a shoe with a cushion in it!)

"It wasn't enough for my greatness," answered Brogo. "And besides," he added, "My hair is WAY to sexy to be in the presence of that thing!" To prove his point flipped his hair.

"Hmmmm…..good point….."

Hyde stepped in. "Ahem! I have the one to bring balance to the force!"

"Like the last 27?"

"This one is different!"

"Um, look Master Hyde." Brogo pressed his eyebrow. "I didn't mind the last 26, but the last one was Jar-Jar. I don't wanna relive that session!" He shivered.

"What happened?"

"He bit off three of his fingers eating a sandwich! That's how bad it was!"

"Um, ew….." said Zatch.

"OOOO LOOKEY, LOOKEY!" squealed Conchome. "I drew a pony!" He held up his etch-a-sketch with pride. ZIP! Brogo's lightsaber zipped through Conchome's etch-a-sketch and chopped it in half. "NOOOOOOOO!"

"Um, no." said Brogo.

"Okay, whatever……."

Skipping to Darth Maul fight……….

Darth Maul was getting tired. "We've almost got him!" said Zatch.

"Hey Asshole!" Hyde screamed. Darth Maul looked up to see Hyde mooning him. "HAHAHAHAHAHA! LOSER!" he creamed as he flicked Maul off.

Darth Maul became very pissed. "THAT DOES IT!" He pulled out something that was covered up.

Zatch looked at it from a distance. "Is that……..no……..it can't be!" Zatch yelled as loud as he could, "Master Hyde! Look I think he has a-" Too late.

Hyde was dancing around flicking off Darth Maul when something flew in his direction. "HAHAHAHAHAHA-eh?" Then it hit him. "This a-NOOO! CURSE YOU DARTH MAUL AND YOUR EMPLOYMENT AT MCDONALDS!" Hyde fell unconscious.

Darth Maul just laughed and laughed………..and laughed. " HAHAHAHAHAHA! I also get Wednesday's off!"

Zatch looked at his digital watch which told the day of the month. "Um, it's Tuesday……."

"Huh? OH CRAP!"

As Darth Maulo fled to work in hopes that he wouldn't be fired, Zatch ran to Hyde, who was covered in a McDonalds burger.

"Cough, hack. Uhn, Zatch you must train Conchome to become a Jedi……"

"Um, he draws PONIES!"

"Uh, good point."

"Aren't you supposed to be dying?"

"Oh, yeah. AHHHH!" Hyde died.

"NOOOOOOOO! Hey, are those French fries?"

**There you have it! The reason why momodos will never, ever, EVAR be Jedi Knights! Yes, I do believe McDonalds is evil! Their burgers are nasty! But their fries are tasty…………..Well, Review time! Also, I'll be gone on vacation for 10 days starting Sunday, so i won't up date for a while.**

**Next Time………..**

_He was a Sk8er Boi………_


	6. He was a Sk8er Boi

**Whew……………..Sorry it's been a while…………I just got back from Disney World, and I'm exhausted! I've been thinking about Fanfics the entire time I was gone! ; Well, I'm going to have 2 new Inuyasha fics when I can get to writing (or typing them down), and I need to work on 2 my other fics anyways T.T Oh well! Also, I'm very open to constructive criticism, but if you write me a review that says something along the lines of "Hello, I hate you and I think your fics are crap" then it will just be ignored. As to Rena the Reviewer, yes, I do find random cuss words hilarious. Also, thanx to all who reviewed! Your reviews are really important to me (excluding the ones that say your story is crap for no reason)!Here's another chappie! **

**Diclaimer: Do I own Zatch Bell? (Looks in pocket) Nope!**

"Are you done in there!" Hyde shouted as he tapped his foot impatiently.

"You can't rush these things!" Iedo yelled back.

"I can, and I will!"

"Don't make me come out there and kick your ass!"

"I dare ya!"

"Fine!...as soon as I finish!"

"Thought so."

"Shut the hell up!" Iedo looked at his hair in the mirror for the 52nd time. Then he saw someone had left a pen on the edge of the sink. He stared at it for a second and an evil grin crept across his face. He took the pen and drew eyeballs on his hand. "Hello Mr. Hand-Dude! Don't you think my hair is sexy?"

Iedo started moving his fingers like a mouth and talking in a high-pitched voice. _"Oh, yes Mr. Hottie! Your hair is very sexy!"_

"Ha, ha, ha! I thought so! And is my hair sexier than Brogo's?"

"_Oh, yes Mr. Hottie! It is!"_

Just then there was a pounding on the door. "What the hell did you just say, Iedo?" screamed Brogo.

"_Nothing! _Wait! I mean, uh (cough, hack) Nothing!"

"I thought not!"

After Brogo walked away Hyde yelled, "Um, Iedo? You're not playing with Mr. Hand-Dude again are you?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because last time he tried to rape you……."

"How is that even possible? He's my hand!"

"I know but……." Hyde looked around. "The author does strange things Iedo. STRANGE THINGS!"

"Um, right…….." Iedo turned back to his hand. "So, what now Mr. Hand-Dude?"

"_Come over to the Dark side!"_

"What?"

"_Rule, the world with me, Iedo!"_

"No!"

"_Then PERISH!"_

"EEEEEE! Spare me!"

"_BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

"Oh, great!" Hyde ran into the bathroom and knocked Iedo over the head with a pillow. Iedo keeled over and passed out.

Later……………..

"Woah, that was weird!"

"I told you!"

"Whatever. Now I've got to find a girl who knows ballet."

"Why?"

"The chapter's called 'He was a Sk8er Boi'! DUH!"

"The author could be referring to someone else…….."

"Like who?"

"I dunno…….Kyo?"

As Hyde said this, Kyo sped through the mall on roller blades. "AHHH! Zatch! How do ya stop these things!"

"You gotta-"

BOOM!

"Oh, nevermind……."

Iedo's eyebrow went up and he turned back to Hyde.

"Okay, fine. Point proven." Hyde crossed his arms.

So Iedo and Hyde walked around Hot Topic asking girls if they knew ballet. After a while Hyde said, "Hey, Iedo…….can you play guitar?"

"No, why?"

"Because in the second verse of the song, it said he was rocking up MTV."

Iedo thought for a moment. "Hmmmmmmm…….Oh, crap."

"Oh, and the girl who knows ballet has to have a baby."

"Oh yeah…….damn! I'll be thankful to find anyone within the age of 30 that has all that!"

"Are you sure she didn't mean Kyo?"

Kyo sped by. "AHHHH!" CRASH!

Iedo twitched. "Um, yes. And if she does mean Kyo, I'll have to run away and join the circus."

"Maybe she meant for a girl to sing the song………."

"Hmmmm……maybe……Migumi!"

"Right!" Hyde stood up and did a pose.

"Why'd you do a pose?"

"I dunno………."

"Lame answer."

"The author's depressed."

"Oh………"

"And apparently the author made a typo. It was supposed to be 'He was a midget boi'."

"What?"

"Mugimi's singing it right now." Hyde pointed at a TV in the window of a shop.

Sure enough, Migumi was singing away. _"He was a midget boi, she said see ya later boi, he wasn't tall enough for her! Now he's an alchemist………"_

Iedo stood there twitching for a moment. "You've got to be KIDDING ME! She chose Ed over me?"

Iedo got into fetal position. Ed walked by Iedo. "Oh boy!" He took out a digital camera and started snapping pictures. Later, I had him taken to Drama section so he could let out his feelings.

**Wow………….that wasn't as good as it should have been. Well, anyways, I got the 'Midget Boi' idea from Abe No Seimei, who reviewed in my "FMA Idol" fic. And you would get the digital picture part if you read FMA Idol. Well, review time! And please, check out my other fics if you have time! Also, Iedo is in the Drama section at the moment seeing a shrink, so he may not be in the next chappie (note the word _may_).**

**Next time:**

_Where do Babies come from?_


	7. Where do babies come from?

**Hello again. I haven't updated any of my stories in a while…….well, here I go. I would like to thank you all who reviewed, and especially to those who were truthful. To psycho on the run (catchy username by the way) I normally just type these as I go. ****edwardelricsgfHikari****, get help. Might I suggest calling this number: 1-800-Dr.-Laura (j/k)? I would also like to thank ForestDancer for reading my fics, and giving me reviews on them. So, to show my gratitude, I shall dedicate this chapter to ForestDancer.**

**Diclaimer: The only thing I own is this story, however, I do not own this chapter because I have dedicated it to ForestDancer.**

One day, Kyo and Zatch got high on cereal.

"WOOH!" Kyo started running in circles with underpants on his head. "I'm coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs!"

"Whatever!" Zatch yelled as ran around with spoons in his ears. "Raisin Brand owns Cocoa Puffs!"

"Ewwwww…….raisins?"

After an hour of being high on cereal, the neighbors got annoyed and called the cops. So Kyo and Zatch were temporarily behind bars; that is until Kyo's mom came down and bailed them out. After they got home, she told them if they ever did that again she would put them up for adoption. Zatch thought she was kidding.

"C'mon Kyo! Let's do that again!"

"No thanks, I know my mom all too well…….man I miss Kate and Lisa…."

"Who were they?"

Kyo burst into tears. "I don't wanna talk about it!" Kyo went and locked himself in his room.

The next day Zatch was afraid to even touch the cereal, so he ate what they had left in the fridge.

"Kyo, what's this tasty green stuff?"

Kyo looked up from his Cocoa Puffs. "Oh, those are hotdogs."

"Yummy!" replied Zatch as gorged on the hotdogs. "Hey Kyo," Zatch said with his mouth full, "Yesterday, why we were high, I thought up so many questions…"

"Oh, Gosh! Please no!"

"And I was wondering where babies come from!"

"That's easy! They're from….uh…I don't know…I skipped Health Class."

Kyo's mom walked by them on her way to the door.

"Hey, Mom!" Kyo yelled. "Where do babies come from?"

"Oh, um…I'll buy some puppets on the way home!" With that she was out the door.

"Puppets….?"

"Oh, boy! Puppets!"

Kyo sweatdropped. "Um, yeah…listen, I've gotta go to school."

"Try to find out okay?"

"Kay," replied Kyo as he ran out the door.

For a few minutes Zatch pondered the question. Then he turned on the Health Discovery Channel and started watching Trauma: Life in the ER. He kept watching it for a while until he saw a beating heart. "AHHH! IT BURNS!" Then he went blind for a couple minutes. After he recovered from the "heart" incident, he decided to go talk to Hyde and Iedo.

At school in Chemistry Class, Kyo was starting to wonder about the secret source of the infants. "Hey, dude," he whispered, "Do you know where babies come from?"

"Like, dude," his friend replied, "The stork totally brings them."

"Uh…sure."

"I know!" said Susie.

"Great! How?"

"I can't tell you!"

"Humph. Fine!"

The teacher came to the front of the class. "Hello, kids!" he said with a cheesy smile.

"Hello, Mr. Jerkhole," replied the class in a monotone voice.

"Now today, we have extremely dangerous ingredients, so listen to every-"

"Um, Mr. Jerkhole?"

"Hm? Yes, Susie?"

"Um, I was too busy being off in my own little dream world where Kyo and me were making out, and I didn't hear you, and I poured all the ingredients into this giant cauldron looking thing."

"Ahhhh! You just created a bomb! Every one evacuate!"

So everyone ran out of the school, right before the entire thing exploded. So school was out for the next two years until the school was rebuilt.

"Where do babies come from?" Hyde repeated confused.

"You heard me," said Zatch.

"Well, Iedo always said they come from bars….."

"That can't be!"

Hyde looked surprised. "Why not?"

"Because only people who are 21 or older can go to bars!"

"Hmm, Touché."

"Where is Iedo, anyways?"

"In the Drama section, seeing Dr. Laura."

"Oooh."

"So, you're name's Dr. Laura? May I call you Laura the Lovely?"

Dr. Laura slammed the papers down on her desk. That's it! I can't take this anymore! SECURITY!"

"W-wait! I just got here five minutes ago!"

Dr. Laura pointed Security to the exit. "Take him to Dr. Phil!"

As Security carried Iedo out of the room he screamed, "Wait! NO! Dr. Phil's not hooooot!"

Zatch borrowed Iedo's cell phone from Hyde, which Hyde stole, and called Kyo and asked him to pick him up under the Migumi billboard.

Kyo hijacked Mr. Jerkhole's new Mustang and picked up Zatch. On the way home, they talked. "So, did find out anything?" asked Kyo.

Zatch shook his head. "Nope, I did find out that Iedo has Susie on speed-dial, though."

"WHAT!" Kyo shook his fist. "That Son of a-"

"KYO, LOOK OUT!"

"Eh? AH!"

Kyo pushed the brakes, but it was too late; the Mustang swerved and hit a minivan. So Kyo and Zatch went into coma for the next ten years………

After Kyo and Zatch woke up, they became doctors, and one fateful day…

"Dr. Kyo, we need you and Dr. Zatch to make a delivery alone."

"A delivery….?"

"Quick!" The nurse pushed them. "To the emergency room! For sake of mankind!"

"……Delivery?"

After Zatch and Kyo were in the room there was a woman screaming on a bed.

"Omigosh! What's wrong with her Kyo!" Zatch asked.

"I-I-I-I don't know!"

"Ahhh! Please!" the woman panted. "Watch…..see if you, ugh, see something! Ahhh!"

"Uh, okay!" Kyo and Zatch were freaked out.

Then suddenly, it came. "KYO! WHAT IS THAT!"

"OMIGOSH, IT'S SOME SORT OF ALEIN!"

Kyo pulled out the spell book.

"Put that down you idiot!" the woman screamed. "It's not an alien, it's my baby!"

"What!"

So that was the very strange, yet fateful day that Kyo and Zatch learned all about where babies come from. Unfortunately, Kyo was busy freaking out over the newborn coming out of the lady, he forgot entirely that he needed to pull, or whatever it is doctors do to babies when they're born, so the new mother went into coma from pain and the kid had to be put into a foster home. Strangely, Iedo, still hasn't returned from therapy…

**Well, there you go. How Kyo and Zatch found out where babies come from. You even got a little insider on Iedo's therapy. Well, Review time! Also, I have to admit I based that last part of the story on a story called The Miracle of Life. I don't think you'll find it on this site though……Review please!**

**Next Time:**

_Zatch Dynamite_


	8. KYO HAS A STALKER!

**WOOT! Time for another chapter! I was watching one episode of Zatch Bell, where Kyo and Zatch take off for England, and Migumi and Tia WERE SPYING ON THEM! And I thought, "Le gasp! STALKERS!" I noticed barely anyone reviewed my last chapter. Was it because it sucked? Oh, well maybe I can make this one better! Another thing, I will not be putting the names of the next chapters at the end of the chapters anymore.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Zatch Bell. There. I said it.**

Zatch was enjoying his soaps one morning when Kyo burst into the room.

"LIKE, ZOMIGOSH ZATCH! I LIKE, TOTALLY HAVE A STALKER!"

"OMIGOSH! Kayla just knocked off the boat! Now how the heck is she gonna make it Peru to tell that Norwegian diplomat she loves him!"

"…DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!" Kyo turned off the TV.

"KYO! Do you have any idea what I'm about to miss!"

"Flashbacks?"

"Huh? Why do ya say that?"

"After every big moment, like turning point in a series, they have some dumb flashback episode to stall, so they can say they had a certain amount of episodes before it ended."

"…What?"

"You know…like Rave Master."

"Nope…"

"Forget it. Back on topic: OMIGOSH SOMEONE IS STALKING ME! CALL THE POLIIIIICE!"

"How do you know someone is stalking you?"

"I got this letter in the mail," Kyo replied as he waved it around. "Ahem, let me read it:"

**Dear Kyo, **

**OMIGOSH YOU ARE SOOOOO CUTE! WILL YOU MARRY ME! I have your face plastered to all my private jets wings, I have a website dedicated to footage of you (google it, you'll find it!) And my computer crashed because I downloaded too many videos and images of you. But that's okay! Because I printed them out 500 times each, and made exact duplicate videos 300 times each! CALL ME! MY NUMBER IS: 1-800-ILOVEKYO-WILLYOUMARRYMESOWECANLIVEHAPPILYEVERAFTER.**

"…Uh, wow…"

"No kidding…" replied Kyo.

"Hey, Kyo," Zatch asked, "What did she mean by 'footage'?"

Kyo's eyes popped. "OMIGOSH!NOOOOOOOO!"

Kyo sped over to the computer and accessed "Hmm, which should I click on?"

"Oh, Kyo! Click on that one that says 'The girl that will one day die "accidentally" so me and Kyo can live happily ever after'."

Kyo clicked on it and it show 27 different angles of Susie. "Uh, oh boy…"

"OH! OH! Kyo! Click on this one!" Zatch yelled pointing at a video click that said 'Rubber Duckie Time'.

"OMIGOSH! NOOOO!" Kyo clicked on it and it showed him in the tub with a rubber duckie and a bathing cap on. _"Oh, Rubber Duckie I love yooouuu! Rubber Duckie! Oh, yes it's so truuuee!"_

"Oh…my…GOSH," Kyo stared at the screen.

"Click on the one that says 'McDonald's SUCKS!'"

"Heck yes it does," muttered Kyo as he clicked on it. _"THIS A HAMBURGER! I ORDERED A CHEESEBURGER WITH NO CHEESE! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? WHY IS IT EVEN CALLED A HAMBURGER? IT'S MADE WITH BEEF! BEEF! NOT PIG! COWS!"_

"Uh, wow Kyo. You sure got mad about a…whatever it is you refer to those things as…" Zatch said as scooted a few inches away from Kyo.

"Hey, they need to learn to be more considerate of their customers!"

"Mmmmm…yeah…so what are you gonna do?"

"I'm going to call her and tell her to leave me alone!"

"...and if that doesn't work?"

"I...learn to dance!" Kyo strated break-dancing, but in the process knock everything in the room down.

"KYO!"

"Eh?" Kyo looked around. "Okay, that plan's screwed. If that doesn't work I'll...move to Norway! Yay, Vikings!" Kyo pulled out a little Norwegian flag and strated waving it around.

"Mmmmm...yeah..."

"To the phone!" Kyo did a pose.

"Kyo," Zatch asked, "Did you take your pills this morning?"

"No! Why do you ask Wonder Woman?"

"Just checking..."

Kyo picked up the phone and dialed the number. Then the message machine clicked on. _'Hi! This is Migumi! Sorry I'm not here right now. Kyo's not here either, but if he was, OMIGOSH that would be SO AWESOME!'_

"Omigosh, she's psychotic..."

"Shhhhh! Quiet Zatch!"

_'If anyone has a video or a picture of Kyo, CALL ME! Oh, wait you are... welll come over to my house! AND GET KYO'S PICTUUUUUURE!"_ Beep.

"Hi! I'd like a cheeseburger with no cheese, LARGE fries, and uh...Zatch you want anything?"

"...I think we switched personalities or something..."

"A milkshake, a soda, chicken, what?"

"That's an answering machine you jackass!"

Kyo stared into space for a moment. "...OH! I GET IT! I'M SOMEWHAT INTELLIGENT!" Kyo started to brake-dance again.

Zatch watched as Kyo ripped the room to shreds. After twenty minutes of teribble break-dancing...

"Done?"

"Whew...yeah I think so..."

"Let's go down stairs for some cereal!"

"YEAH! CEREAL!"

When they got downstairs, there was a ring at the door bell.

"I'll get it!" Kyo skipped over to the door.

Zatch stood for a moment and then shook his fist at the ceiling. "Why, authoress? WHY!"

_"Shut up. I could've done worse."_

Zatch stoped yelling and remembered past events with Folgore, Sherry, and Brogo. "Point taken."

Kyo opened the door and there were a whole bunch of people there with shirts that said 'I love Migumi'. "Hi! Can I get you guys something?"

**24242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242**

"SCREW YOU AUTHORESS AND MIGUMIIIIIIIII!" screamed Kyo as he was chased around town by eager Migumi fans with cameras.

**Done. Sorry it's been a while...things have popped up. Please review! I really need them!**


	9. Please leave a message

**Hi! Time for another chapter! Also, to those who were wondering, no, I did not get that one part from Drake&Josh. I'm very thankful to those who reviewed the last chapter! THANK YOU! I LUFF YOU ALL! (glomps)**

**Disclaimer: Owning Zatch Bell is a big responsibility. You have to walk it, feed it, clean up after it…**

**P.S. For those of you who like Sherry&Brogo (that's how I spell it, okay?) refer to chapter 2. They were also in a lot of the earlier chapters as well. Also, KYOXMEGUMI IS EVIL! I'm all for KyoXSusie though! ;)**

:Kyo & Zatch's answering machine:

_Hi! I'm Kyo! I'm not home right now, so please leave a message after the be- HOLY SHIT! Zatch! Stop looking at my mom's porn!_

_Oh! I thought this was YOUR porn!_

_Porn. Is. EVIL!_

_Well, your mom doesn't think so!_

_Well, my mom is WRONG! She had a bad childhood! Fuck off!_

_Er, Kyo…_

_Wha? HOLY SHIT! Great! Just great! Now I'm gonna have to reset the answering machine! Where are the directions?_

_(Mahoo mahhoo mey!)_

_Ponygon! GIVE THOSE HERE YOU FREAKING SON OF A-_

**Beep.**

:Message 1:

HI! KYO! This is Suzie! I was wondering…what did you do to that guy that can fly? I haven't seen him since he left for the drama section…Oh, well! Just don't kill anyone else, okay? Love you! Also…That Megumi girl…you haven't been cheating on me right?

:Message 2:

HI! KYO! ZOMIGOSH! I LOVE YOU! I. LOVE. YOU! WILL YOU MARRY ME? EEEEE! THIS IS MEGUMI!

(No! Megumi! Get. Away. From the phone!)

NEVER! BACK OFF TIA! THIS I-

:Message 3:

Hi! Remember me, Kyo? I'm your anger management counselor! Here's your, lesson. Memorize this song! I now you go crazy and go rampaging, possibly murdering people when you hear it, but I'm going to play it anyways!

Everybody's got a water buffalo!

Yours is fast, and mine is slow

Oh!

Everybody's got a water buffalo!

Oh!

Everybody's got a baby kangaroo!

Yours is pink, and mine is blue!

Oh!

Everybody's got a baby kangaroo!

:Sherry & Brogo's Answering Machine:

_Hi! This is Sherry! I'm a rich girl who lost her best friend to a freaky creature called a momodo!_

_You're telling them this, why?_

_I dunno, I needed an intro!_

_Well, that one was lame! You should say something like this! Hi! I'm Brogo! And I'm god! BOW BEFORE ME MORTAL!_

_Er…riiight…_

**Beep.**

:Message 1:

Ello. Is this Sherry? 'Dis is the Muslims. Thank you for the money. We will soon have complete control over the world…And we also enjoy our new, plasma screen TV. Thank you for your time.

Oh, and, death to America. (A/N: NO OFFENSE TO THE MUSLIM PEOPLES! Seriously, it's just a joke)

:Message 2:

Listen, Sherry…Um, you were released from the nice looney house a little too soon. The nice men in white coats will be there to pick you up tomorrow.

:Message 3:

Seven days…Oh, wait! Sherry and Brogo? Damn! Wrong number again! (sigh) You'd think a dead person would get a decent phone book around here!

:Message 4:

Hey! Sherry? This is the Yenta. Look, I'm sorry, but Gollum's taken. Maybe that D&D guy?

:Iedo & Hyde's Answering Machine:

_Hi! This is Hyde. Iedo's not here. Yup, still in the drama section. I forgot completely why he had to go into therapy…Oh, well! Leave a message or die._

**Beep.**

:Message 1:

This is the ACLU. We are suing you because we can, and because we care only for our greedy needs, and we're bored. Be in court on Thursday.

:Message 2:

Hyde! This is Zatch! I found out where babies come from!

:Message 3:

Hyde! Get me out of the drama section NOW! Dr. Phil's making me take the blob test for the twenty-eighth time!

:Message 4:

Seven…(sigh) Nevermind…Damn phonebook! That's it! From now on, I'm sticking to the operator!

:Message 5:

BOW BEFORE ME MORTAL! FOR, I AM GOD! AHAHAHA!

:Folgore & Conchome's Answering Machine:

_Hi! I'm Conchome! Is your fridge running? AHAHA!_

(A/N: This voice is in another room) _Conchome, you a only do a that, when you're a calling someone!_

_Whatever!_

_Eh…Conchome! HELP A ME!_

_Why? What's wrong? Is the movie scary?_

Silence.

_Folgore?_

(Foot steps and you hear Conchome's voice in another room) _AHHHHHHH!_

**Beep.**

:Message 1:

Is this the right number? YES! OH, wait…DAMMIT! Now, I'll have to call again to sound dark, and ominous!

:Message 2:

Ahem. Seven days…

:Message 3:

Parko? This is yo mama. Now, listen, I know your hormones have been going wild, since after all, you went out with:

Claire,

Daisy,

Molly,

Amanda,

Rachel,

Zoey,

Julia,

Hilary,

Emma,

Emily,

Paige,

Jude,

Danna,

Diane,

Bridgette,

your grandma,

Sherry,

Tia,

Matilda,

Wendy,

Winifred,

Winry,

Riza,

Lisa,

Grace,

Alicia,

Anna,

Colette,

Raine,

Sheena,

Rose,

me,

Melanie,

Heidi,

Amelia,

Katie,

Yamicho,

Fujicho,

Megumi (against her own will, might I add),

Maggie,

Michele,

Anita,

Sora,

Ivy,

May,

Mimi,

Maria,

Mariah,

your dead grandma,

Katlin,

Carrie,

Kari,

Jessica,

Ashley,

Brittney,

the other Lisa,

the other Brittney,

Sabrina,

Kendra,

Kayla,

Amy,

Natasha,

and several hobos. Now listen honey, if I get my hands on y-

(By that time the tape recorder had ran out tape)

:Megumi & Tia's Answering Machine:

_Hi, everyone! I'm Megumi. A pop star idol, and am currently NOT DATING KYO. But, if I was, OMIGOSH! THAT WOULD BE SO COOL!_

_And I'm Ti-_

**Beep.**

:Message 1:

This is the ACLU. We are suing you as well.

:Message 2:

Hi, Megumi? Uh, listen, you weren't exactly allowed out of the nice looney house yet…so, the nice guys in white are standing outside your door right now! They…um, are going to take you to Kyo! So, be sure to stay close to them!

:Message 3:

BOW DOWN MORTAL!

(Brogo, what are you doing?)

Err…(changes to Hispanic accent) Uh, this is, not Brogo! It is…Raphael! From Holland!

(That's not a Dutch accent!)

YES IT IS! DON'T DIS MY ACCENT, YO!

(beating is heard)

**Okay! Not really a fic, but I desperately needed and idea and this was the best I could come up with. Also, for the next chapter, should I do Conchome in Black, Folgore's Super Spy Movie, or should I do Zatch Bell THE MUSICAL! Review…NOW.**


	10. Zatch Bell: THE MUSICAL!

**I shouldn't have done this…BUT I DID! Now prepare yourselves…FOR THE ZATCH BELL MUSICAL!**

**PS: I'll try to do the Folgore's Super Spy Movie, but I REALLY wanted to do a Zatch Bell Musical:P**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Zatch Bell. Or Sega's Sonic Adventure 2 Battle soundtrack. Or the musical Momma Mia. Or any other songs you might actually recognize. However, I DO own Zatch Bell: THE MUSICAL! And that's like 10 times better. ;)**

It was war. The battle had been so intense. Zatch and Kyo were about ready to drop dead of exhaustion. Same as with Sherry and Brogo. Then, suddenly, as if out of no where…KYO STARTED SINGING! o.o

_O-oh, ye-ah!  
Al-right!_

Sherry and Brogo just stared. Zatch blinked. "Um, Kyo?"

_When I don't show up, don't critize!_

_I'm, just living by my own fe-elings!  
Won't give in, won't compromise!  
'Cause I only have stead-fast, heartofgold!_

"KYO! Seriously! You're scaring me now!"

Sherry looked at Brogo, and Brogo looked at Sherry. "?"

_I don't know why,  
I care,  
Ev-il that might be tough!  
I'm out control,  
Just livin' by my word!  
Don't ask me why,  
I don't need a rea-son,  
I've got my way, MY OWN WAAAAAY!_

Then Sherry suddenly piped up and joined Kyo in a harmonic, er, "song".

_It doesn't matter! Now what happens!  
'Cause I will never, give up the fight!  
Long as the voice inside!  
Drives me to run and fight!  
It, doesn't mat-ter,  
Whoooooo is wrong, and who is right!_

"OMIGOSH! Sherry! Not you, too!" Brogo yelled.

By now, Kyo and Sherry were doing these weird heroic poses along with their little song. Zatch and Brogo started inching away. But then, as if against their own will, ZATCH AND BROGO BEGAN TO SING:O

_When I look back,   
and I do-n't need to!  
Tiiiime will wait, and I've got so much to do!  
Where do I start?  
It's all good, it's all good,  
Where-ever I look, I can't be wrooooooooooong!_

By now, EVERYONE was doing cheesy poses and singing along.

_It doesn't matter!  
Now, what happens!  
'Cause I will never, GIVE UP THE FIGHT!  
Long as the voice inside,  
Drives me to run and fight  
IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHAT-CHA THINK IS RIIIIIIIIGHT!_

After the last line, everyone seemed to have regained control temporarily.

"Woah…" Kyo stared for a minute. "THAT was weird…"

"No kidding…" Sherry dusted herself off.

Brogo raised an eyebrow. "Not much weirder than the other stuff the authoress has been doing to us."

"Hmm, true." Kyo looked up at the city. "Let's go see if the authoress has been doing this to the others."

They all nodded. They got up and walked towards the city.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_Tomorrow!  
Tomorrow!  
I'll love ya!  
Tomorro-_

"ZATCH!"

"It's not me! IT'S THE AUTHORESS, DAMMIT!"

Everyone stood in silence. Did Zatch just…CUSS?

"HELLLLLLP!"

Our brave group of heroes looked into the sky to see Iedo and Hyde flying down.

_Where can I run?  
Where can I hide?  
Where can I go that you not?_

"HYDE!"

"It's not me, I swear!"

"Hey guys!" Sherry said once they landed. "Hey, Iedo; got out of the drama section did you?"

"Yeah," he replied. "Iedo got my message, and he went in there to get me back and the weirdest thing happened…"

Brogo arched his eyebrow again. "Which was…?"

"He started singing! He left Dr. Phil mentally wounded for life!"

Hyde: --;

Everyone else: O.O;

While everyone was staring in disbelief, Iedo and Hyde suddenly did a pose and started singing.

_We're talkin' about the Y-M-C-A!  
Where I wanna be!  
Y-M-C-A!  
It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!_

"Makeitstop, makeitstop, makeitstop!" Brogo held his ears.

"Let's go find, Megumi!" Zatch yelled over Iedo and Hyde terrible singing.

"Good ideaaaaa!" Kyo screamed while holding his ears as he ran off.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Susie was just standing at the bus stop thinking happily about fruit, when suddenly, she legs moved in the strangest way. She started dancing and singing!

_Momma Mia,_

_Here I go again!_

_My, my_

_How can I resist ya? _

_Momma Mia,_

_Does it show again?_

_My, my_

_Just how much I missed ya!_

People started staring.

_Yes, I've been broken-hearted!_

_Through since the day we parted!_

_Why, why?_

_Did I ever let you go?_

Normally, people would've thrown some sort of strange veggie at her, or something, but she was actually good: O

_Momma Mia,_

_Now I really know,_

_My, my_

_I should not have let you go!_

_I was angry and sad,_

_When I knew we were through!_

_I can't count all the times _

_I have cried over you!_

"SUSIE! NOT YOU TOO!" Susie turned to see Kyo and Zatch, and Sherry and Brogo, AND Iedo and Hyde running/flying in her direction.

"Oh, hi guys! I can sing!"

"No you can't!"

"Kyo! You don't like my singing?"

"Well, I do…"

"So it's good?"

"Yeah! But you're not a good singer…"

"But, I'm the one singing it…"

"Well, yeah…"

"And you liked the song right?"

"Yeah…"

"So you like my singing?"

"Well, no…"

"MAKE UP YOUR MIND!"

"Well, it's just that you aren't the one singing it!"

"Was someone else singing it?"

"Well no…"

"Then I was singing it!"

"NO!"

"BOTH OF YOU FUCK IT!" Sherry screamed.

"Don't tell my woman to fuck it!" Iedo said.

"Susie's my woman!" (Kyo)

"Yeah, whatever!"

"Um, I'm his woman."

"Oh…"

"Well, you could always date Megumi, Iedo…" Hyde patted his friend on the back.

"Uh, no. She's already turned into a psychopath Kyo fangirl."

"Uh, what?" asked Kyo.

Just then, they heard someone skipping down the pavement of the street singing a song…

_Everybody's got a water buffalo!_

_Yours is fast, and mine is slow_

_Oh!_

_Everybody's got a water buffalo!_

_Oh! _

_Everybody's got a baby kangaroo!_

_Yours is pink, and mine is blue!_

_Oh!_

_Everybody's got a baby kangaroo!_

"AHHHHHH!" Kyo ripped off his skirt and started frothing at the mouth. Everyone took little steps away from him. Then Kyo ran away like an animal on all fours, shoving an elderly man down a sewage pipe as he went.

"GRANDPA!" A little girl shouted as her grandfather fell down the sewage pipe and unknowingly became part of the world's ecosystem.

Then, the little girl broke out in song…

_I, miss you…_

_Miss you sooo bad…_

_I can't for-get you!_

_Oh, it's so sad…_

_I hope you can hear me,_

_I remember it clearly!_

_The day, _

_You-ou slipped away!_

_Was the day,_

_I found it, won't be the sa-ame!_

While in mid-song, the person who had been singing the "Water buffalo" song ran past the little girl and "accidentally" shoved her down the sewage pipe. "YAY! GRANDPA!" (splash)

"KYYYYYYYYO?" Apparently the evil water-buffalo person was Megumi. With Tia following after her. "Hi guys!" she waved.

"Uh, hi?" greeted Zatch.

"'Ello! 'ow's everybody a'doin'?" …And out of nowhere Folgore and Conchome showed up…and they started singing…of course…

_I wanna be,_

_The very best!_

_Like no one ever was_

_(ever was) _Conchome

_To catch them is my real test!_

_To train them is my cause!_

"What the heck? Where'd that come from?" Tia and Hyde yelled.

Conchome and Folgore shrugged. "Dunno" (Folgore) "We just felt like singing it…" (Conchome)

Megumi then noticed Susie, and hatred began to burn deep inside of her. She started singing…again…

_Anything you can do,_

_I can do better!_

_I can do anything better than you!_

Susie joined in.

_No you can't!_

_Yes I can!_ (Megumi)

_No you can't!_

_YES I CAN!_ (Megumi)

In her rage, Megumi pounced on Susie and began mauling her.

"HEY! DON'T HURT MY WOMAN!" Iedo yelled. "GEECAIR!" Hyde sent a blast of wind and knocked Megumi over.

Sherry and Brogo were the only sane people there, because Iedo was beating Megumi along with Susie, Zatch and Hyde had broke into a duet of "I'm in Love with Stacey's Mom", Kyo was…somewhere, and Conchome and Folgore had begun breakdancing for who know's why. Oh, and Tia…well, no one cares about Tia. Sherry and Brogo looked up and screamed, "MAKE IT STOP!"

"_Hmm…well, it's so funny to you all sing…"_

"…Please?"

Brogo gasped. "SHERRY! You said the "P" word!"

"Shut up Brogo…"

"_Sure. I'll make it stop. But only if you track down. He's necessary for my fic."_

So, everyone stopped what they were doing and ran over the hills looking for Kyo. Well, except for Iedo, who had begun to sing.

_And I wonder if you ever think about me anymore,_

_And I wonder if think about me when you're bored,_

_And I wonder if you ever think about me when you're hanging in New York!_

**Meh, kind of a crappy ending, but it's the best I could come up with. R&R.**


	11. Let's franchise!

**This...is random. I'm writing this because I promised I would would. READ MY BEYBLADE FIC! (Em, you'll notice some things I might've stolen...)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Zatch Bell...or any product that you see in here and recognize.**

"DAMN YOU!" Brogo tossed the gamecube controller on the floor.

Sherry, who heard Brogo's outburst, rushed in. "Brogo! What the heck are you doing?" She was mad, because, she had personally bought that game as Brogo's Christmas present.

"DAMN YOU IKE! WHY MUST YOU BE SUCH A WIMPY LORD?"

Sherry stared at the screen. "You can keep playing y'know."

"And LOSE a character? ARE YOU MAD WOMAN?" Brogo shrieked as he pressed the restart button.

"Uh-huh...Well, I have good news!"

"What?" muttered Brogo.

"I just called Geico and saved a whole bunch of money on my car insurance!"

Brogo jumped up, completely forgetting Fire Emblem. "Omigosh! No way!" Brogo started break-dancing, while Sherry started doing a jig. "Wait..." Brogo stopped. "Do you even have a car?"

Sherry stopped. "Ummm...no."

"..."

"...WHO CARES? It's Geico man!"

"Right!" Brogo and Sherry started dancing again. "Let's go to the mall to celebrate!"

"Okay!" Sherry replied, as they danced out the door.

**Switch to a picture with Zatch in a newsman's outfit.**

"And now for something completely different!"

**Switches to Hong-Kong**

Lee-Ann's father was sitting at his desk staring at Wanre. Lee-Ann had gone off to do something, and suggested they bond. So far it wasn't going well. **(A/N: I was wondering if anyone noticed that Wanre has the same voice as Regal from Tales of Symphonia? My bro noticed it!)**

Wanre nervously fiddled his fingers and noticed a cell phone on the man's desk. Hoping to lighten the mood, he pointed out, "Nice cell phone."

Lee-Ann's father looked at it and picked it up. "Thank you. It's my _special _phone."

"Er, special?" Wanre shifted uncomfortably.

"A Sprint. It's my little way of handing to the man."

"...But you ARE the man."

"I know."

"...So...you're handing to yourself?"

"…"

"…"

"...Maybe."

**Goes back to Zatch.**

"Back to our pointless drabble!"

**Switches to the mall.**

Brogo and Sherry were dancing through the mall happily (while people were staring at them), when Kyo ran up frantically. "GUYS! I need your help!"

Brogo stopped dancing. "Aw, man! Ya threw off my groove!"

"...Right. Well, anybob, how can we help with what?" (Sherry)

"I'm going on a date with Suzie, but my breath really stinks!"

"How bad?" Brogo asked.

Kyo blew lightly on Brogo.

"It's not that-" Brogo started to reply, when the smell hit his nose. He started gagging and rolling on the floor as his face turned orange.

Sherry stared blankly, as Kyo hung his head. "Great! NOW what am I supposed to do?"

Zatch suddenly popped out of no where. "I know Kyo! Try a Rip'n Slip!"

Kyo looked up. "What?"

"A Rip'n Slip!" Zatch took a package from his pocket. "It's so simple! Just rip-" Zatch unwrapped it, "Slip-" he then slipped it on his finger, "And brush!" Zatch slipped it over his teeth. "Ahhh..."

Kyo looked at it thoughtfully and then took it. "Let's see...Rip, Slip, and Brush!" Kyo imitated what Zatch had done. "Ahhh..."

"Hey! Let me try one!" Sherry grabbed for it and Brogo struggled to get one himself amidst his gagging.

They all followed the steps. "Rip, Slip, and ahhh..." After that Brogo had regain normal breathing. "Hey! This is almost as good as Geico!"

Before they knew it, they were all dancing own the mall doing the Rip'n Slip. "Rip, Slip, and Bush! Ahhh...Rip, Slip, and Brush! Ahhh..."

Kyo stopped and blew on some random person. When they stared at him blankly, he rejoiced. "I'm cured!" He then proceeded to run off to see Suzie.

**Goes back to Zatch.**

"Now for more franchising!"

**Goes to Hong-Kong**

Lee-Ann quietly grabbed some keys and slipped out her front door. She tip-toed to her garage, and got in a really cool-looking Silverado. When she cranked up, the engine, her dad woke up and realized what was happening. He ran outside to stop her, but the car was already gone. He quickly hopped in his wife's jeep and took off.

Farther down the road, Lee-Ann picked up Wanre, and they started driving through a tunnel. Wanre suddenly spotted Lee-Ann's father's car, with Lee-Ann's father waiting for them up ahead. Lee-Ann pulled it to a stop and got out, making sure Wanre was shielded behind her.

"Dad! Listen!"

"Lee-Ann..."

"Wanre and I are getting married! You can't stop us! I lo-"

"It's okay Honey, I understand."

Lee-Ann and Wanre stand there gaping, until her father says, "Just, take your mom's car!" He tossed them the keys, and came over to receive the keys to his Silverado. Once he had them, he jumped in his car and drove off, leaving Lee-Ann and Wanre totally dumbstruck.

**Goes back to Zatch.**

"...And back to our drabble..."

**At the mall.**

"Aw, man!" Iedo pulled off his headphones. "I'm all outta juice!"

Hyde looked up. "Juice?"

"Batteries."

"Oh! So you need power!"

"Sure."

"Why not use Duracell? It never stops running!"

"…What?"

"Duracell! The power that never ends!"

"…" Iedo scooted a few inches away from Hyde. "Oookay then."

**Zatch time!**

"Now, for more commercials!"

**Goes to Wanre and Lee-Ann**

Wanre was sitting in a chair, happily listening to music with Snickers on his head, when Lee-Ann and some of her father's henchmen showed up.

"Oh, hello Lee-Ann!" he greeted.

"Uh, hi, Wanre…" she shifted uncomfortably. Wanre noticed all of the others were shifting and coughing. Something was up.

"What is it?"

"Um, W-Wanre…" Lee-Ann cleared her throat, "I think you should know that we know…you're bald."

Wanre was stunned for a minute, then said, "What are you guys talking about?" he laughed.

"Wanre! You should take off the Snickers! It's not fooling anyone!" She sighed and walked away, and so did the others.

Wanre sat for a minute, before totally breaking down.

Zino walked by Wanre, happily eating a Snicker. After just a moment, he dropped it and started hacking and stuff. "Oh (hack) NO! (hack hack hack) I'm allergic to chocolate!"

**Zatch Bell News**

"…And back to the drabble."

"**The drabble"**

Conchome and Folgore were standing on golf course. "Folgore?" Conchome looked up. "What are we doing here?"

"I'm a not a sure…"

Suddenly they heard weird music, and looked to where a little bald guy was dancing to strange music. It was creepy. Then he went from doing a funky little jig, to trying to seduce them or something. Folgore and Conchome: O.O;;;

The little man pointed rapidly at the sign on the bus. After a few minutes, he saw that they were not getting it, and grabbed them and stuffed them in his bus.

"EEEE! Mommy! HELP!" they both screamed.

"Come to Six Flags, kids!" a voice said, right before the little man popped back up and started pole dancing on a pole that appeared magically.

-.o;

**My, gosh…**

O.o "Well, anyway…more commercials!"

**Commercials**

Wanre and Lee-Ann sat…doing nothing. Then she turned to him and said, "Wanre?"

He turned his head. "Hm?"

"Do you ever get the feeling some crazy authoress captured us, and are now forcing us to do weird versions of commercials she's seen?"

"Yeah! Wow, we really understand each other!"

While Wanre and Lee-Ann ended up making out, I grabbed my neutralizer, just in case.

**They're on to me! Skipping ahead to a Mia and Megumi Production!**

Megumi and Mia were jumping rope. First regular, then double Dutch, then triple whatever, and kept going until they were jumping 27 ropes at once. Megumi, of course, tripped and did a face plant, breaking her nose in the process. Mia, however, forced herself to trip since she WAS Megumi's little slave.

When they both stood up, Megumi punched Mia in the nose and said, "X-Box 360!"

o.O _"What does that have to do with the X-Box 360?"_

Megumi kept on smiling like an idiot with a broken nose. "X-Box 360!"

-.o _"That's almost as retarded as that lotion's slogan. 'You can't always train your best friend, but you can train your skin' or something._

"…Axe body spray for guys!"

x.X;

**Done! Hahaha…I finally got the chapter up! R&R!**


	12. Conchome hits puberty

**Yeah, I'm finally updating and…stuff. So enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Lallyzippo is not the owner person of Zatch Bell. She just watches it. SUSIE AND KYO FOREVER! Ahem. Cough. Nor does she own Cash Cab, Ryan Seacrest, Laura Croft, Van Hellsing, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Six Flags, Men in Black, The Dreaming, or Naruto.**

Conchome and Folgore sat in the back of the bus that was now kidnapping them. It was…slightly strange. But only a little.

"Don't-a worry, Conchome."

Conchome looked up. "Folgore are you crazy? Some little bald guy was trying to seduce us, and then he grabbed us and threw us in this Six Flags van!"

"Don't-a worry!" Folgore tried to calm his little friend down. "This is-a completely normal!"

"…Woah, really?" Conchome looked up.

"Uh, sure-a!"

"Um, okay!"

Just then lights started flashing through-out the car, and some crazy guy with a creepy looking smile turned around. "Congrats! You're in the cash cab! Wanna win some moo-lah?" he said licking his lips.

"…HELL, YEAH!" they yelled in unison.

"Ooooookay…First question! Who is the creator of Naruto?"

"MASASHI KISHIMOTO!" Conchome screamed.

"Aww…That is absolutely correct!" he yelled.

Folgore looked at Conchome. "Since-a when do you-a read Manga…a?"

Conchome looked up. "Y'know, Anko? She's totally my mom."

"Conchome. I'm not friggen stupid."

"Okay, fine whatever. BUT MAN, I WISH SHE WAS MY MOMMA! But when did you lose your accent?"

After recovering from Conchome's sudden blast of puberty, Folgore answered: "I'm not really Italian. I'm actually some random Mexican immigrant that killed Folgore."

Conchome was quiet for a minute until he questioned, "Why am I not flipping out over this?"

"Dunno," Imposter Folgore replied as he put the neutralizer behind his back.

"Okay, slav- I mean, contestants, NEXT question! What's a French word for a social blunder?"

"Faux Paw," Conchome answered blankly.

"Aww…That is absolutely correct!" he yelled. "Next question! What was a bird in Egyptian Mythology that was said to be immortal by rising from its own ashes?"

"Phoenix." Conchome again.

"Aww…That is absolutely correct!" he yelled.

"How is it that you know more than I do about my own world?" Imposter Folgore asked.

"Because, you're not the REAL Folgore, you just randomly created and have only been in existence for 23 lines. Not to mention, CHICKS DIG DA SMART PEOPLE!"

"…Okay, since when did you hit puberty?"

"Since this chapter. Duh."

"Next question! So, far you've won 5 million bucks!"

"Huh…? How'd we do that?" Conchome asked.

"YUZZ! WORLD-DOMINATION!" Imposter Folgore screeched. He stood up to do a cheer or something, but hit the top of the van and blacked out for the next few questions.

"What type of rock are the faces of the presidents of Mount Rushmore carved out of?"

"Granite."

"Aww…That is absolutely correct!" he yelled. "What is the author's name for the Manga The Dreaming?"

"Queenie-Chan."

"Aww…That is absolutely correct!" he yelled. "Who plays Obi-Wan Kenobi in the Star Wars Trilogy?"

"Ewan McGregor. And I've just started to notice that you have no originality whatsoever. You always try to dupe me into thinking that I've totally missed the question, but in reality I got it. Gosh, you're as bad as Ryan Seacrest!"

Suddenly, Ryan Seacrest popped out of nowhere and slammed the driver's head into the wheel. "You BITCH! You stole my line!"

"Ya wanna bring it, man-whore?" the driver screeched as he got out of the car.

They got into a bitch fight, with their long nails and were trying to claw each other's eyes out and stuff, when the Imposter Folgore woke up. "Woah, where am I? Why am I not in Mexico?" He looked around. "And…where are my wings?" He tried to jump in an attempt to fly, but succeeded in knocking himself out again. Conchome watched the chaos until he got tired of it, and went to Starbucks or something.

"Hm, I wonder where Folgore could be…?" he wondered aloud as he sipped his Frapiccino. He stroked his goatee as he read the newspaper. And it was then that he passed a headline reading, Hummingbirds Attack Tokyo! Millions Dead!

"…" Conchome sipped his coffee some more. _I wonder if Zatch is okay…?

* * *

_

"I'M SORRY I SQUASHED YOUR GREAT AUNT FIVE TIMES REMOVED! IT WAS AN ACCIDEEEEEEEEEENT!" Zatch screeched as he, like so many others, disappeared into the sky.

* * *

Conchome kept reading until he came across some headline that said Cash-Cab Guy Is Gay Pedophile! Heh Heh…Guy and Gay are spelled almost the exact same aren't they? Conchome did a double take. Yeah…yeah, that's what it said…Conchome sipped his coffee again.

* * *

The bitch-fight between Ryan Seacrest and Cash-Cab guy ended when Cash-Cab guy threw Seacrest out the window of some five-story building. "HOW DO YA LIKE THAT MAN-WHORE?" he screeched. "Don't EVER try to steal MY uke again!" 

He turned around to see five kids huddled around their mother, terrified. What was this crazy pedophile doing in their apartment?

"Uh, I can…explain…?" He then spotted the oldest _son_. "Hey there, big-boy," he cooed. "Ya want some moo-lah?"

"…HELL, YEAH!" he yelled.

But then there was a gunshot that went straight through Cash-Cab's head. Then his heart and other random places after that. As he bled all over the carpet, the children turned to their mother, who was seriously packing heat, with dozens of different guns. "NOBODY MOLESTS MY KIDS!" Laura Croft screamed.

"Mummy," her daughter tugged on her vest, "May we eat him, too?"

"Yes, of course, sweetie," she cooed.

As her children fed on Cash-Cab guy's corpse, Laura Croft cackled. "Feed, my darlings, FEED!" she wailed sounding very similar to that one vampire chick in Van Hellsing.

* * *

Conchome got tired of sipping coffee, so he got like, five dates or something and went to go see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. He didn't even have to pay for a ticket because the cashier thought his goatee was so damn sexy. Which it was. Maybe the real Folgore was rubbing off on him…? 

Well, anyway, it got to the part where Jack, Will, and that former captain who's name isn't even worth mentioning got into that three-way swordfight and were rolling around on that broken mill-wheel-thing trying to get the key to the dead man's chest from each other, when Conchome burst out laughing like his gut was gonna fall out with soda spewing out of his nose.

That's when some old lady chick stood up with her cane and all and was like, "Hey asshole! Shut the hell up so we can fucking watch the damn movie!"

Conchome stopped laughing and glared at the old chick. Then he sicked his hookers of death on her, and they beat her with their sex-toy paddles.

Of course, that made the little men in theater outfits come out ready to drag the hookers, the old chick, and Conchome out of the theater. They ended up dragging the hag and the hookers out, but they let Conchome stay because they fell in love with his outrageously awesome goatee. Maybe it was magic!

So he continued to watch the movie, until the ending part, at that scary girl's house was handing out drinks and stuff. Then Elizabeth and her looked up and were all like, "Omigosh! That goatee is SO sexy!"

"…Eh?"

Then it looked like they were banging on the camera trying to get into the theater. The room started shaking and everyone ran out screaming, except Conchome. Oh, don't get me wrong; he was OUTTA THERE. It's just that, now that he had his awesome goatee, he was too COOL to run or scream. So he just kind of speed-walked out of the theater without saying anything.

* * *

"AHH!" Zatch screamed as he continued floating. It was then that he noticed Folgore. "Folgore? What are you doing up here? And where's Conchome?" 

"The hummingbirds-a carried me up-a here! Conchome…dunno who he-a is."

"LE GASP! That can only mean one thing…" Zatch hissed with shifty eyes. "Some Mexican immigrant kidnapped Conchome through the Six Flags Bus in the last chapter, because he was a total pedophile, and used a neutralizer from the M.I.B. to make you forget who Conchome is so he could have Conchome all to himself, and then sicked this giant flock of Hummingbirds on Tokyo so you could never intervene between them!"

"…You're-a French?"

"…Maybe…"

"Where's-a Kyo?"

"In here, who knows?"

* * *

Kyo was in side his room wearing a Viking hat. Then he got bored, so he decided to break dance.

**Ha, yeah, done. Took me two hours to type this. Sad, I know. Raging-mongoose may find some comedy I ripped off in here, so uh, sorry? A good deal was all original though. R&R. **


	13. The ultimate cheesiness of Zatch Bell

**This chapter is dedicated to the total cheesiness that I've seeing in the Zatch Bell dub lately.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Zatch Bell. So now you can't sue me :D**

Tia, Megumi, Zatch, Kyo, Conchome, Folgore, Dr. Riddles, and Kiddo were standing in this stadium. They looked around.

"Um, why are we here?" Kiddo looked around.

"The authoress put us here," Dr. Riddles answered.

"REALLY? ZOMIGOSH! I TOTALLY BELIEVE YOU 'CAUSE I ALWAYS BELIEVE WHAT YOU TELL EVEN THOUGH YOU ALWAYS LIE TO ME, AND I DON'T BELIEVE ANYONE ELSE EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE PROBABLY THE ONES TELLING ME THE TRUTH!"

Everyone stared at Kiddo, then started inching away; even Dr. Riddles, and that's a very bad sign.

"AND I EVEN HAVE THE DUBBED NAME KIDDO! WHAT KIND OF A FUCKING NAME IS THAT? DUBBERS ARE SOOOOOO GREAT, BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS TOTALLY SCREW UP AWESOME SERIES LIKE NARUTO AND ONE PIECE AND TOKYO MEW MEW AND INUYASHA **(A/N: Em, don't kill me)** AND STUFF! Except Full Metal Alchemist, that totally rocks no matter what."

Everyone stared at Kiddo like he was crazy, and then turned back to where an enemy mamodo was standing.

"OMIGOSH! THERE'S AN ENEMY!" Zatch screamed.

"OMIGOSH! THERE'S AN ENEMY!" Kyo screamed

"OMIGOSH! THERE'S AN ENEMY!" Conchome yelled.

"OMIGOSH! THERE'S AN ENEMY!" Folgore yelled.

"OMIGOSH! THERE'S AN ENEMY!" Megumi yelled.

"Megumi, don't be a bitch and repeat what's already been said!" Le-Ann slapped her. Okay, no she didn't, but I wish she would. Because Megumi's just _perfect_ and there's _nothing_ that could possibly make her _uncool_. That's just totally out of the question.

So Megumi took a step forward…and fell flat on her face because of her lack of grace and broke her nose.

"OMIGOSH, MEGUMI!" Zatch yelled.

"OMIGOSH, MEGUMI!" Tia yelled.

"OMIGOSH, MEGUMI!" Kyo yelled. "EVEN THOUGH I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M YELLING, BECAUSE ME AND SUZIE SHOULD TOTALLY HOOK UP INSTEAD OF ME TAKING ON MEGUMI, WHO IS A MARY-SUE!" Then Kyo stopped and was like, "Whoa, dude, why did I say that?...And Why to have the urge to proclaim my love to Suzie?"

_Because you love her._

"No…no, that's not what my creators want."

_Kyo, you Suzie and you have an eternal bond, that cannot be broken._

"…You think?"

_Oh, I KNOW. I'm almost as crazy about this pairing as Sheeloyd._

"…WOW…Hey, wait…Didn't you just spoil your Tales fic?"

…_Oh crap._ BACKSPACE BACKSPACE BACKSPACE.

…Well, while Kyo was talking to himself, Folgore was like all, "ARE YOU OKAY MEGUMI?" Except, all Italian and stuff.

And Tia was all like, "ARE YOU OKAY MEGUMI?"

And Wanre was all like, "ARE YOU OKAY MEGUMI?"

And Le-Ann was all like, "ARE YOU OKAY MEGUMI?"

And Zatch was STILL all like, "OMIGOSH, MEGUMI!"

Megumi got up and spit some dirt out. "Of COURSE I'M NOT OKAY! I BROKE MY FRIGGIN NOSE!"

"Oh, okay." Then everyone ignored her, while Megumi and Tia just looked pissed.

Then the 'bad guy' mamodo just looked at them. "Y'know, we've been standing here for five minutes and stuff right? I mean, we could've just burned ALL yer damn books and been on our way…"

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Kyo screamed.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Megumi screamed.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Le-Ann screamed.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Folgore screamed. 'Cept it was all Italian.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Dr. Riddles screamed.

"…" The dude just sat there waiting.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Kyo screamed.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Megumi screamed.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Le-Ann screamed.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Folgore screamed. 'Cept it was all Italian.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Dr. Riddles screamed.

"…Are you guys gonna—"

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Kyo screamed.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Megumi screamed.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Le-Ann screamed.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Folgore screamed. 'Cept it was all Italian.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Dr. Riddles screamed.

"Okay, _seriously_, please ju—"

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Kyo screamed.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Megumi screamed.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Le-Ann screamed.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Folgore screamed. 'Cept it was all Italian.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Dr. Riddles screamed.

"JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND DO SOMETHING!"

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Kyo screamed.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Megumi screamed.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Le-Ann screamed.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Folgore screamed. 'Cept it was all Italian.

"WE HAVE TO CAST A SPELL!" Dr. Riddles screamed.

"Oh, for the love of…" The dude's book owner read a spell and knocked them all out.

"OH NO!" Kyo screamed.

"OH NO!" Megumi screamed.

"OH NO!" Folgore screamed, 'cept it was all Italian-like.

"OH NO!" Dr. Riddles screamed.

"OH NO!" Le-Ann screamed.

"…Okay, y'know what?"

"What? You gonna try to do something cruel and horrible to us 'cause we're fighting you and all mamodo who aren't fighting with us are bad? Huh? Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh—"

"You're not worth my time." Then the mamodo and his book owner walked away.

**Elsewhere!**

"…" Brogo looked over at Sherry. "…Sherry why are you randomly staring at a wall?"

"Just angsting about how crappy my life is."

"Oh, okay then."

**Back with the groupies.**

"…Well…That didn't go exactly how I planned…" Kyo blinked.

"You had a plan?" Wanre looked over his shoulder.

"Yeah! You didn't hear me?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Hm, strange…Normally, I just imagine my plan and somehow you all just magically know what I'm thinking."

"Oh, sorry," they all replied.

Just then they all noticed Wanre and Le-Ann doing random kung-fu moves.

"Whatcha doin'?" Conchome asked.

"Kung fu," they both replied.

"…Why?"

"It makes us look cooler."

"…Oh. Okay." Conchome still didn't really get it.

"Why? You guys are cool already!" Kiddo pointed out (coughsuckupcough).

Le-Ann stopped and answered, "Yeah, but at the same time we're still not as cool as the characters we've replaced. Remember Iedo and Hyde? Yeah. We're still not that awesome, even if we're awesome anyway." So she went back to doing Kung Fu in hopes of boosting her level in coolness. Which is definitely possible, it's just that it's _impossible_ to be cooler than Iedo and Hyde.

**Somewhere out there**

Iedo spit out his drink.

"What's up Iedo?" Hyde looked up.

Iedo put his fingers on his forehead. "I sense…a disturbance in the force of coolness…"

**I would go back to the groupies, but they're not doing anything worth noticing…**

"Eek! A giant bird is eating me!" (Tia)

…**So let's skip ahead to see what's up with Cocoa and Z-dude.**

"Y'know…I just thought of something," Cocoa thought out loud. "Supposedly, you took over my mind and made me totally hate people and stuff, and be submissive and all that jazz, but I still wanna be free, and go against your orders sometimes."

"…Excuse me?"

"Uh…"

"_Thanks_ for spoiling it Cocoa! _REALLY_! Thanks. A. Lot." Milordo Z threw his hands up in the air.

"Sorry girlfriend," Cocoa shrugged.

"…"

"What?"

"…Do we need to go over that again Cocoa?"

**Well…I guess we _have_ to go back to the main groupies…**

"OH NO TIA!" Zatch yelled.

"TIA!" Megumi screamed.

"TIAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Kyo screeched.

"WHY ARE YOU GUYS JUST YELLING MY NAME? FREAKIN' HELP ME!"

"We're just yelling your name pointlessly to make this episode go longer! Or in this case make the chapter go longer!"

"Oh, okay then. AH! ZAAAAAATCH!"

"TIAAAAAA!"

"ZATCH!"

"TIA!"

"ZATCH!"

"TIA!"

"ZATCH!"

"TIA!"

"ZATCH!"

"TIA!"

"ZATCH!"

"TIA!" Apollo yelled.

Everyone stared at Apollo. "…How'd you get here?" Kyo asked.

"Why, Kyo! It's so incredibly simple that I'm surprised your puny mind is considered genius!" Dr. Riddles laughed.

"…" (Kyo)

"HAHAHAHA! I just LOVE making fun of you because my abilities are SOOOOOO much more superior to yours! GAHAHAHAHA!"

"…" (Kyo)

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Dr. Riddles managed to laugh for six minutes straight (somehow) before he stopped his guffawing and got very still on the ground where he had fallen during his laughing spree. Kyo smiled and felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

Apollo blinked and then shrugged. "Um…that was _extremely_ strange, but…in answer to your question, I just magically appeared here."

"Oh, okay," Zatch smiled. "That makes complete sense."

"Um, guys?" Tia yelled.

Everyone looked up. "OMIGOSH! TIIIIIIIAAAAAA!"

Sigh, and Et Cetera.

**Elsewhere-ness**

"…Sherry, you've been staring at that dumb wall for the entire chapter."

Sherry: "ANGST ANGST ANGST."

Brogo sighed.

**The end. Kinda. Ha, yeah, just some stuff that's been bugging me about the series. R&R please :D**


End file.
